CBI Blogs

September 9, 2024/6 Elul 5784
Rabbi Kelly Levy

There is a person in my life who struggles with addiction and other mental health issues. It’s very difficult to be in communication and contact with this person. I made a choice years ago to no longer speak with them, allowing space and time to grow between us. I have often said, “Toxic is toxic, even if you’re related.”

Recently, this person chose to reach out for help, real help, for the very first time. They voiced a need for support, guidance, and love. They expressed, through tears and heartache, their immense regret for not asking sooner, for not being present at important events in my life, for not realizing that they couldn’t do this on their own.

This was what I needed to hear to close the rift between us. I needed the person to say, “I’m here and I need help.” Perhaps it was selfish of me to wait for them to reach out. Perhaps it was unkind to allow them to hit the lowest of the lows to fully see their plight. But in waiting, this person found an inner strength they needed to make radical changes.

Time will tell if these changes last. For now, I found my own inner strength to bring this person into my embrace and be present for them through their struggle. By being present, both of us, we found much-needed healing for our relationship and ourselves.