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Dear Friends,

As I mentioned last year in my Rosh Hashanah Eve sermon, sometimes an upcoming bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah student will express trepidation regarding their impending big day by saying, "What if I mess up?" And then I will tell them that I've been a Rabbi 38 years, and I still get the jitters before every High Holy Day sermon, and that sometimes I make big, obvious mistakes on the bimah, but that's because I'm human, so I do my best to limit the amount of time I spend beating myself up over my mistake. And over the years, I've gotten gradually better at simply forgiving myself and moving on.

I've learned over the years that owning up to a mistake, i.e., leaning into your human imperfections without a lot of perfectionistic self loathing, is what a seminary professor of mine used to call "a teachable moment" for the people in your life, as well. When you own up to "messing up," as our bar and bat mitzvah students like to put it, you model a healthy humility that gives the people around you the permission to be honest with themselves and with others, as well. By the way, you may remember that sermon from last Rosh Hashanah that laid out in embarrassing specificity how I once began to lead the Yom Kippur morning service on Rosh Hashanah morning because I started on the wrong page. And you may also remember how my senior Rabbi approached me from behind, tapped me on the shoulder and said "start again," which was the repeated refrain of the sermon. That sermon elicited so many knowing responses from so many of you. I guess that experience was even more "relatable" than I had imagined.

Speaking of Rosh Hashanah, in just a couple of weeks – August 18, to be exact – we will enter the Hebrew month of Elul. The beginning of Elul is a major milestone in the Jewish calendar because Elul is the month that leads up to Rosh Hashanah. And our ancestors have given us a number of traditions to practice during the month of Elul, to help us to be intellectually and emotionally open to the challenges that Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur (and the eight days in between) place before us. For example, we blow one tekiah on the shofar during services (except on Shabbat) all throughout the month of Elul to make sure that the Jewish New Year doesn't sneak up on us. That way, we are hopefully less defended and our hearts are softened and ready to do the challenging work of teshuvah.

In forgiving ourselves for our foibles and mistakes, we are more open to being tender and forgiving with others.

In extending genuine lovingkindness (hesed) toward our own minds and hearts, we have more lovingkindness to give to others.

So now, in order to behave in alignment with what I've just written (or, "practice what I preach") I confess that what led me to talk about this was, in fact, a mistake.

Last week, on Friday night, I delivered a sermon that I was super happy with, until I realized, the following morning, that I had written a lovely sermon on this week's portion, not the one for last Shabbat. Oh, well… now I have something else to sit with on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur!

With love, as always,

Rabbi Steve Folberg