CBI Blogs

Shalom Chaverim,

In June of 1998 a very green, sure she knew everything, pre-frontal lobe still forming, just one year married, 25-year-old Sarah Avner and her husband Jonathan moved to Austin, Texas. As high school sweethearts whose story was ready for an adventure the opportunity for Jonathan to take a job far from home and in a new country was just what this couple thought they needed.

After a few weeks of doing nothing because, as an illegal Alien this was exactly what the US government wanted me to do, I got brave and showed up at CBI answering the call for volunteers to help get ready for High Holy Days 5759. Volunteering at the temple in this way gave my day’s purpose and my brain the human interaction, problem solving, and stimulation it had been craving. I answered phones (before CBI had anything so fancy as an answering machine), folded and stuffed paper mailings, and organized forms as families completed them and mailed them back into the temple. Through these interactions with temple staff and volunteers, so many of whom are now of blessed memory, I slowly started to make Austin home.

From these early days of volunteering, to attending Erev and Shabbat morning services, to joining the young adult group led by Rabbi Dunsker and Cantor Shpall, to applying for and getting the opportunity to work as the secretary in the clergy suite one person has been a constant in my story: Rabbi Steven Folberg.

When I properly think back and do some very sketchy math, it is possible that I have said “good morning, Rabbi” to him more often than I have my children. He accepted the young, fiery, know-it-all, standing before him and patiently trained, shaped, and molded me into much of the person I am today. From Rabbi Folberg I learned how to be kind, respectful, and to categorize what was mine to worry about and what wasn’t. I was relieved when, somewhere around 28, I finally realized it wasn’t my job to know everything because then I could just become a sponge – soaking in all he and the other Jewish professionals I was working with could teach me.

Fast forward to now, 23 years later, and while I still have so much to learn I know one thing to be true: the only constant in life is change. It doesn’t make it easy, it doesn’t make it a welcome idea, and it doesn’t make the feelings any less overwhelming. The only thing I have figured out is that going through change with a community, a buddy, a trustworthy partner, makes it feel a lot less lonely.

As we head into this weekend of celebration, I hope you will partner with me in honoring our Rabbi, friend, and colleague for all he has taught and given to us during his 33 years as our leader. I know that so many of you have beautiful stories of how Rabbi Folberg became a part of your personal history and how it is impossible to imagine CBI without him. Rabbi Levy and I look forward to hearing these stories over the coming days, months, and years as we all make this transition.

For those of you who are struggling and have been for almost 18 months now, I feel like there are so many clichés I could use in this moment to try and make you feel better or more at ease but instead, here are three teaches that Rabbi Folberg has shared over the years that I have taken with me and will continue to incorporate into my everyday experiences:

1. Pirke Avot 4 from Ben Zoma: “Who is wise? He who learns from every man, as it is said: “From all who taught me have I gained understanding” (Psalms 119:99).
2. If every human is made b’tzelem Elohim, in the image of God, then each person we encounter has a small piece of God inside of them. When we interact with people, what if we took a moment to recognize that piece of God and think to ourselves: “Is what I am about to say something I would say to God?” How differently might we treat people under this premise?
3. “If you don’t like it, don’t do it to someone else” – when teaching  the verse from Leviticus: “Love your neighbor as yourself” to our religious school students.

Finally, I encourage all of us to remember that this is not good-bye but, as we say in Hebrew, l’hitraot – see you next time. Whether it be on X (formerly known as twitter), Facebook, or a reason to visit Cape Cod. Additionally, as our Rabbi Emeritus CBI is open to a visit from Rabbi Folberg anytime.

Shabbat Shalom,

Sarah Avner